Fathers Day=real sketchy holiday.

Hola geeks,

Bradass here, I know it’s been a while since my last blog and I am not sorry, I have been busy and you guys really aren’t that important to me.  Just kidding, my followers help me get through the rainy days.

Well, it’s the beginning of summer, which means I do not have to worry about any school work until September, shit yeah I love not having to worry about crud.  Although, i do not have to worry about school work I do have to worrry about putting bread on the table.  For those of you that don’t know, i have the wildest job anyone could ever dream of.  i hang out with my bros all day at the YMCA and tell kids what to do.  I have never felt so in charge in my life.  It’s real fricking cool to get paid to be the boss.  The kicker is that we get to go on a field trip every week and this past week we went to the zoo.  I wanted to tear my hair out cause the little munchkins are crazy but I still love animals and nothing gets me more excited than seeing Bengal Tigers.  Obviously, Bradass loves the whodsters.

As the week was moving along i was ready for a break and some fun.  Thursday night me n Nighthawk decided to go down to our apartment at UPA.  I showed up at the Kummer household ready to roll and hang out with mass chicks.  As I walk in the lovely Mrs. Lori Kummer very nicely asked me to go into the fridge and get the Italian dressing. Being the excellent human being I am I proceeded to look without any questioning.  As I opened that whie ice cold box my eyes set on a big 24 ounce Green Apple Ice.  EWwww, you win Mrs. Kumms you win, but if you can give them out you can take them.  Don’t be surprised when you see a 72 ounce Ice with your name on it sometime this summer.

Nothing else really went on this weekend, not an ideal summer weekend in the Nati, but there are plenty more in the future.  Unfortunately, the Redlegs are on a little slump.  They need to win today and get back on a heater if they want to be in it at all star break.  I still have faith in the legs because their from cincy, which is obviously the greatest place in the world.

Great news Bradass will be moving into his athens party pad sometime in the next week, chances are there will be chicks lining up outside the front door when I get there.  But hey, can you blame them?  See ya soon Athens.

I hope you flip your bike over and knock your two front teeth out! You selfish son of a bitch! You leave me in the trenches taking grenades, John!

PLRFLP

72 West State Here We Come

Hola Skanks,

Well, today is a great day yet an extremely sad day.  School is over and I am officially a junior.  The sad part is that my times of going to shabooms with all my older buddies from SAD have come to an end.  It sounds miserable which it is, but we definitely took advantage of the two years we had together.  We went out with a boooom last night as we went to a few bars, schemed on some sluts, Jake my big bro fings made some excellent garlic bread/chicken and Mike Clifton made a phenomenal pickled flavor sauce.  The night ended with Tim I’ll do anything Mink stumbling in real late covered in mud.  Yes extremely weird, but we all know what that sandbagger was doing.

On to the good stuff, Team Rudy A.K.A. Team Raw Dogs A.K.A. GCL All Stars, the intramural softball team took home the competitive leagues championship.  Not only does that mean we are the best team in intramural softball history, but we also got free t-shirts.  The dream we have all had since we stepped foot in Athens.  Ironically I didn’t play one inning in the field, but I did get voted best coach in intramural sports history.

Staying in sports, The Cincinnati Reds are one of the best teams in Major League Baseball.  When you think their slipping starting out 0-2 in a 4 game series vs the Giants they come out of nowhere and take the next 2 with style.  #1 in batting average in the NL and #2 in defense.  With a bullpen this team could be serious contenders.  Other sports to acknowledge is the USA mens soccer team.  Call me crazy, but I think this team has potential to make some noise in the world cup.  They are going to shock the world this Saturday when they beat up on the high rolling England team. 

Lastly, lets talk about next year.  Me Besterman, Moose, Bolsman and Darbys Bitch along with the guys from 10 N. High are going to run Athens in 72 West State.  If we don’t get voted coolest house on campus I will be shocked.  Yes, we will start the year off with a kegger to meet the neighbors, chances are they won’t like us unless they are hott chicks.  There will be some chips, drinks and some late night streaking.  On a serious note i can not wait to live in a house, the dorms have absolutely nothing good about them.  What chick wants to come back to your dorm? None of them not even the really big bar sluts.  In my house next year I literally think whores will sleep in my bed more than i do.  it will practically be a community bed for skanks and in no way is that depressing.  Thats all I got regarding the party pad/whore house/houseofshredders. Just remember everyone. CHICKS R WELCOME, WHORES ARE ENCOURAGED AT 72 W. State.

Tonight is that start of my summer I would highly enjoy getting real fricking naughty.  Congrats to all my buddies graduation this Saturday i love all of you and may god have mercy on your souls.

Well, we invented the missionary position…You’re welcome.

PLRFLP

I’m going to miss my buddies

Hiiiiiiii

Well, for those of you who don’t know I’m an American and I love to do American things.  So this weekend was the last weekend for my senior pals as official college students.  They are the shit and have made the first two years of my college career effin awesome.  To send them off with a bang my pal Jimmy thought of an unreal idea to do an AMERICAN shuffle.  So we did it, and we liked it.  We were the most patriotic group of people that i’ve ever seen.  It was an all guys shuffle, obviously cause we don’t hang out with chicks.  Do we smell or whats the problem, ladies any suggestions are encouraged.  But anyways it was literally one of the best days of my life….from the run up union heading towars b-dubs to Mike Showtime Clifton schemin like there is no tomorrow, it was just one of those days I will never forget.  The only down fall is the Science geeks went to Maplewood, but the nerds still had to show their id’s when we didn’t even get carded cause we are all grown ass men.

Lets move on to the Reds, so their not in first place anymore but they consistently compete.  Mike Leake is an absolute freak, Stephen Strasburg who? Give the little guy some fricking credit he has been unbelievable.  If he stays perfect and Harang grows a sack I believe we are a playoff team, St Louis sucks donkey dick so they will buckle under pressure once we give a little push.  Obviously I am going to make a reference to the Bengals, 6-0 in their division and they are not getting much cred from the analyst, honestly what makes you think they won’t do it again, they are Cincinnatians and they shred it.  I would put my life on the fact that Cincinnati is the best city in the world and we get mass chicks. (JK) but it would be a lot cooler if we did.

To end this blog I’m going to give a little poem to send off the best buddies an Athenatian could ever have (Jake Rudy my big bro, Mike Showtime Clifton my shaboomer, Doug Party Schroeder my wingman, Chris Chaney my best pal, Tim Ernst i’d rather not say what we do, Z money Kooms my fist pumpin bro and last but not least Tim Mink my idol because he gets tail.

I started my life as a soldier without an army, I now have an army.

PLRFLP

Icing is going worldwide

Hola dudes and whores, I know it’s been a little while since i’ve blogged, but it’s hard to make a blog when I go home to Cincy and every person i know is begging me to hang out with them.  Ughh sometimes I wonder if being a Bradass is worth it, but I know it definitely is.

Anyways, this weekend back in the Queen City was pretty extreme and I was not expecting it.  Thursday was a Woody’s night which then led to some karaoke in which I obviously sounded like an angel yet again.  Waking up on Friday I was prepared for a good old fashion cincy summer day.  I started off with Crossroads, which is quite possibly the most crucial restaurant to a lancers life.  Next, I headed over to drink some beers before heading out to watch the on fire offense of the Reds.  15-6 really Houston?….good thing is the Reds dominated and my parents were buying the way over-priced 7.50 drafts.

The night ended in Clifton as did Thursday and Saturday.  Sorry to all the chickas at UPA whose apartment was torn to shreds. Blame everything on Adam, especially the tampons and blueberries. (sorry adam).  Sunday is when things really got popping.  Big swim party which consisted of mass amounts of UV rays, tons of beeeers and also a stupid amount of Ices.  The way they were flowing i felt as if I was in Athens.  After multiple people made trips to buy more i knew shit was getting out of hand so had to bail and move on to the next place of Shaboomers. 

Monday was a day of rest for myself or at least that was the plan.  After hanging out in a pool all day being pressured into drinking, I actually fended off the scavengers and didn’t drink anything all day.  That was until about 11 o’clock I was laying in a bed watching Weeds.  (Nancy Botwin is awesome, but obviously shes a whore, cause theres a whore in all of em duh).  Anyway as I was watching Nancy sell some weed i heard the front door open that was when I saw my buddy walking down the steps and I knew I was in trouble.  Green Apple ice flying through the air at me like a flying squirell.  Devastation I have been iced in my day of detox.  Well being the bro that I am i obviously got on one knee and instantly made that Ice my bitch.

Thats pretty much all thats been happenin in the past few days, Ill be sure to get back with all you shaboom-wannabes ASAP.  Also, everyone keep rootin for Clits n Mitts as we go into a crucial playoff game tonight.

Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

PLRFLP

Karaoke, Team Rudy, Redlegs, Cincy……WOWWWW

Hiiiii people,

Bradass here just forgetting the bad times rememberin the good.

Well, It’s Thursday of memorial day weekend which means it’s a busy time for people like me.  First of all, last night was totally kick ass.  Watched the Redlegs (which I will talk about here in a little bit), dominate Shittsburgh then it was straight to Broney’s for karaoke.  Everyone was getting involved last night and it was awesome.  What really got me going was when I saw I can only Imagine by Mercy Me in the song list.  Wow, for those of you who aren’t Lancers, this is what we live for.  Never in my life have I wanted the entire place to erupt into the La Salle alma mater.  Obviously me and my sidekick Mike Showtime Clifton signed up and dominate that shit.  I felt like taylor Swift belting out in front of 50,00 fans, holy banana peels what a rush.  After that the bar closed and it was time to go to sleep, but that is not in any way a bad thing.

Next on the agenda is softball….the Friggin Playoffs.  I dont know about all the other schools, but here at OU we take pride in intramural sports. We don’t do this for pride or fame, we do this because if you win the competitive league you get free t-shirts.  Thats right a free frickin piece of cotton that you wear until it disintegrades to shreds.  Anyway, the game is at 5:30 and if we don’t win I will be highly dissapointed with me and my buddies.  After we win that it’s back to the greatest City in the world.

Cincinnati if you don’t know is probably the best place ever if not second compared to heaven, but ill let you know which one takes the trophy when I go packing.  First of all this is where the number one sports conference in the world is…G.C.L.  We are the shit, if you aren’t from the G.C.L. you wish you were and don’t act like you don’t.  Next we have the best sports teams ever.  Cincinnati Bengals AFC North Division Champs, Cincinnati Bearcats back to back Big East champs, Cincinnati Reds future World Series Champs (honestly, this starting pitching staff is starting to get ridiculous.  They are practically unbeatable with all their shutouts, i would take them over almost any team in the league. Can’t wait to take 3 out of 4 tonight from the Bucs) lastly we have the Cincinnati Cyclones who won the Kelly Cup 2 out of the past 3 years, suck it world.  Lastly, I am not sure i know any person who I don’t like from the Westside of Cincinnati, we invented cornhole and we love to party, what else can you ask for? Thats right….Nothing.

Okay, thats really all I have on this Thursday, everyone keep the La Salle Lancers in your heart as they will go into a battle today against Mason.

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me

PLRFLP

They should stop selling ICES in Athens

Hello people of the world,

Bradass here again just keeping everyone posted on another long weekend in the second greatest place in the world.  For those of you who have never paid a visit to Athens or have never hung out with my group of friends.  We might be the most immature/weirdest group of people in the world.  Yet we are still the shit, and everyone wishes they were us. 

Thursday our co-ed softball team took the next step towards our championship.  After brutally embarrassing some scrubs who considered themselves a team it was time to celebrate and get prepared for 7 fest.  Friday, we woke up and had our weekly family meal at Shively and prepared for a bunch of clowns to come help us continue our dominance in Athens.

Thats when shit got serious, Saturday morning around 10:30 AM is when things got a little LOKO.  They sure were flowing like the salmon of capistrana. Although 7 fest was 8 miles away this year, it turned out to be one of my favorite days so far as a Bobcat.  Me and all my friends had our own section in the field where we could just run around and act like children.  Unfortunately we were posted up right next to a few watering holes.  If you didn’t end up covered in mud, you weren’t trying hard enough.  I knew it was going to be an amazing day when I got iced before I could even speak to people at 7 fest.  No thanks to Eric Besterman for being there to make me look like a jackass in front of all of my buddies.

What really made the day rememberable was the Aussie chants my good friend Andrew Harbert introduced me to.  They were a hit all day and really helped to make us look like idiots.  I recall at one point when I wasn’t getting chased around by a bunch of assholes trying to throw me in a pool of mud, I looked over by the stage and it was raining beer cans.  That can not be safe, I’m going to take a swing and say there were at least 13 concusions.  I don’t see why people feel the need to throw full beer cans, but as long as your not throwing them at me or any of my bros i’m not going to say anything.

The only bad part of the day was paying 10 bucks a person to cram in the back of an SUV and wait for what seemed like 2 hours to get back to Athens.  Overall, it was a fantabulous day especially with the guest visit from Thomas Taney and some OSU bozos.  I have one tip for everyone before I end this sweet friggin blog.  Never answer a phone call from Tim Mink on a Sunday, because his idea of sunday funday is definitely totally opposite of lazy day sunday and it turns out into 5 morons trying to think of clever ways to ice people.  I have a feeling this game might ruin some relationships. I mean hell even prime time souders got iced after a saturday which she couldn’t even make it out of her dorm room, What a friggin nerd.

I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think well maybe they’re silk panties, maybe it’s a thong. Maybe it’s something really cool that I don’t even know about.

PLRFLP

I got Iced

Hello again precious yahoos,

Today is Thursday, which means it’s the weekend for Bradass and tuesday was the start of pre-gaming for 7 fest.  Last night was Wednesday which means liquor pitchers at Luckys A.K.A. bad news. The night started off with a good vibe, playing card games at Besterguys just living like a rockstar.  Obviously I was the president in the first game of asshole because I’m the best human being on this planet in everything.  After several games of asshole/2-man we decided to hit up Lucky’s A.K.A. the worst bar ever because it’s a pittsburgh bar.  Then thats when shit hit the fan.

As we arrived at Lucky’s it felt like any other wednesday night, but it wasn’t.  Usually we get one liquor pitcher then head to a different bar.  On this night me n besterguy slugged down our first pitchers in t-minus 8 minutes.  So next thing I know there was another full one right in front of my elegant eyeballs.  Obviously being the Bradass I am, I drank it like there was no tomorrow because I was trying to go to shabooms and shake my rump.  After that me n best had a tough decision.  Do we want to be record breakers and drink a third or just kick back n have a beer.  Well, if you don’t know me I’m a friggin rebel, so yeah I wen’t for a third. 

As I was approaching the bar shit got serious. Mike “Showtime” Clifton ICED me. Icing is when you secretly bring out a bottle of smirnoff ice to a bro and the bro has to get down on a knee and chug it on the spot. Talk about feeling like an extreme dumbass. It was as if I peed my pants with all the stares I was getting. Fortunately i saved myself by slugging the thing in a matter of seconds.  Then things got serious, apparently I still ordered two more liquor pitchers for me and Besterman because I am missing some of my 7fest money.

It wasn’t until about 8 o’clock that I woke up on bestmans couch to prime time acting like an idiot, but hey she parties so I can’t blame her.

Heres to getting on her, staying on her, if you can’t come in her, come on her……CHEERS SLUTS

PLRFLP